you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
worst night to have a conscience
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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