I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
