i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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