Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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