apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize