I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
