My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
