he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
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