I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
