How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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