The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
