I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
