you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
