Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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