I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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