What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
