I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize