His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
