the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize