If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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