Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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