And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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