Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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