escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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