garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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