The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
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These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
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I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
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