Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
