I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Randomize
