He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
