im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
