Heybabeimwearingurpanties
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
