Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
