By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
