Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
