She is in my trunk
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
