btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
