so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
NoShamevember. You game?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
