Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
