you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
