I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
No subtext here. People are naked.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
