Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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