I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
