scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
