i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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