There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
