Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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