You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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