Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
