just survived the first fart of the relationship.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize