You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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