But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
