Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
