dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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