I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
