I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I think people are normalizing furries
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
