it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
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