How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
