He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
