I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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